Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/07/08/ride-now/
It is hot and I decided I needed some exercise. I needed to sweat! So, for the first time in a long time I hopped on my bike, and began to pedal . . . down the street, down another street, across another street, down a street, taking a fork in the road . . .
It occurred to me that I could get lost, but I decided that was okay, because I know that with enough time, patience, and faith, I can always find my way back. So, I kept going, knowing that wherever I am, I am always Here. So . . . I kept going, looping slowly onto more familiar territory, and back home.
Now, time to head down to the peninsula for a party. I feel really good lately, and I attribute it to the fact that on Tuesday, I followed my idea of “direct action” down to the book store, and found what I believe to be sufficient knowledge of How People Work, and How Relationships Work, specifically romantic love and extra-marital affairs, to finally understand some of the details that have bugged me the most. Now that I understand, my mind has very little need to obsessively ask itself what happened, any more. Tranquility.
This morning I attended my first “Men’s Breakfast” at MDUUC. I had no idea what to expect, but . . . man, it was a wonderfully powerful sharing among a lot of older, mostly wiser men, about their lives. That was really good stuff.
One thing that caught in my head is an observation that . . . in Western culture, we tend to perceive the Mind as the Self. But in some of the traditions that stress meditation, the Mind joins the Body, as a conjoined set of tools, through which the Self then experiences the world. With that understanding, you can allow yourself to experience a given moment more fully, and with a little discipline, you learn to allow the Self to step outside the Mind, and examine and shape your behavior in the context of what you hope to achieve.
Right now, I’m going to get Mind and Body packed up in the Car, and enjoy my afternoon down in Cupertino.
Feedback Welcome
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/07/08/first-harvest/
The tomatoes are still green and I need a trellis for the beans . . . though, I am moving in a few weeks anyway. But, I picked the first beans from my garden. I look forward to the meal that will feature these!
5 Comments
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/07/05/non-cooperation/
I threw out the divorce papers.
My position has all along been that there was no difficulty in our marriage that was not surmountable, and that if we worked together, we could have a great life together. The only thing missing from the equation was my wife’s will.
I accept that I have no wife. But I can not agree that her actions, her decision is right. She needs to take responsibility for seeing this through. I have heard the horror stories of men screwed over in divorce by vindictive wives, and I appreciate that it is in my own best interest to drive the divorce process. But even more than this, I will not be party to something that I disagree with. I feel this is the right action: the divorce is her cross to bear and hers alone.
Possibly . . . well, anything is possible. I won’t hold my breath expecting a miracle, but I am comforted by the fact that for immigration purposes, she must have begun the divorce proceedings before our second anniversary in October. The divorce process takes six months beyond that. Six months, add up to four . . . a small price to pay for the years together, for the compact that I made for her to be the most important person in my life, to be loved, for better or for worse.
And until the end . . . I will maintain my emotional independence. I will also engage her with all the positivity I have to muster. For me, it is an exercise, an “experiment in truth” to see what my positivity, love, compassion, and understanding can do to a person who is willing to destroy my heart out of their own short-term selfish desire. I will continue to believe, rightly or wrongly, that the woman I married is in fact a good person. What follows from that is anyone’s guess.
Feedback Welcome
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/07/03/tazo-caffeine/
So, a little while back, I got into dropping by the Barnes and Noble cafe and sipping on a Tazo tea whilst browsing / reading. Why tea? Well, coffee is best in the mornings, and a fruit drink, that’s nice for the afternoon or evening. Tazo’s the only stuff they have that’s made with sugar instead of corn syrup, so I figure, that’s righteous.
But I could not for the life of me divine the caffeine content from the labelling.
So, I asked the intarweb . . . . nada.
So, I e-mailed Tazo, and they wrote back:
We have 14 bottled tea flavors and four of them are caffeine-free:
Brambleberry
Lemon Ginger
Simply Red
Wild Orange
These four will also have a caffeine-free stamp on the front of the label.
So, if you were asking the Internet, there’s your answer.
Feedback Welcome
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/06/30/boston-creme/
| You Are a Boston Creme Donut |
 You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.
But on the inside, you’re a total pushover and completely soft.
You’re a traditionalist, and you don’t change easily.
You’re likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it’s sold out. |
Man, I love Boston Creme donuts, and the description is horribly apt.
3 Comments
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/06/29/true-wife-confessions/
Oh man, I just swallowed my gum:
Confession #100
I resent paying for Head and Shoulders shampoo so much that I have been buying generic shampoo and putting it into the same Head and Shoulders bottle for over two years. Honey, you’re bald and you don’t need shampoo anymore. You especially don’t need one that controls dandruff. You have more hair on your ass than you do on your head and you use soap on your ass.
Enough already!
I read this out loud to a coworker, and she said that yes, it took her boyfriend some getting used to the fact that she freely expresses her opinions, like “that is the ugliest shirt I have ever seen.”
One of the key desires I have for the woman I hope to pair with is that she be sassy. (more…)
3 Comments
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/06/27/muffin-lady-land/
My nostrils are enjoying the constant smell of somewhat-baked-Danny-plus-campfire-smoke that has been infused into my epidermis over the weekend. I love this smell! Makes me feel like a human hot dog! Sooo tasty! I need me a bun and some steak sauce! And vegetables!
Actually, that reminds me I need to get groceries. 
I ate out last night. Overpriced but ginormous gyros sandwich. I skipped out on my morning muffin from the muffin lady today. I love to start the day by buying my muffin from her, and then heading upstairs to eat her muffin, but I had no appetite this morning. (Yesterday we did the chit-chat and I complimented her on her looks, thus, officially “flirted” maybe.) Darn you, gyros! But, instead of joining the work crew who headed to Whole Foods I visited the muffin lady for lunch, and consumed a bowl of chili and a fruit thingus. And read my book, Bulgakov’s “Heart of a Dog” and while doing so, noticed that there were attractive women checking me out as I checked out them. One read her own book, but what book that was eludes my memory. Oh man, I gotta get growing beyond the comfort of the muffin lady and into flirting with strangers. It will come.
I also gotta resist the urge to compare myself to a hot dog and talk about my muffin munching on the blog.
Or do I?
2 Comments
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/06/26/drifting-along/
So, this weekend Jessica and I joined other friends-of-Meghan to camp out and take a 10 mile canoe trip down the Russian River, to celebrate Meghan’s 25th birthday. It was an excellent weekend! Well, except I got a nasty sunburn on the top of my thighs. Fortunately, I had the good sense to avail myself of sun screen, and it was only after I hopped in the river to catch an errant paddle that I got in trouble when the pasty parts of my legs were relieved of their protection.
I also got to ride in Kaya’s Prius, which is totally Citroen inside! Anyway . . . I have no business with such an expensive cool car, but lately I have thought that if I were looking for a new ride, an older Cadillac convertible would totally be awesome. Basically, a sexy version of the station wagon?
In life, things are better. I confess that I have taken now twice to a dinner of cereal, with a dessert of beer, and that tends to put me to sleep way early. I’m going to try not to make a pattern of this. I admit, though, there is now a pile of unfolded laundry, a pile of un-opened mail, months of unread New Yorkers . . . and I keep missing my deadline to catch the morning bus and end up driving to work. Things to work on, but little symptoms that wake me up to the “don’t get into a bachelor funk” thing. I’ll fold the laundry tonight. The paperwork . . . (more…)
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Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/06/19/quiet-weekend/
Hello,
So, my friend Jessica crashed at my place over the weekend. She’s getting past a failed engagement, so we are in a similar place. She also wanted avoid the heat wave of Mountain View. Somehow even without A/C my apartment isn’t so bad. I had promised her a leaky air mattress but that went with the ex-wife. So, she contented herself with the couch.
We went to the Crawdad Festival up north somewhere, me and three single Asian ladies. Well, it wasn’t that spectacular. The food was decent but the ladies couldn’t take the heat. Oh well.
We also spent some time checking out apartments in Oakland. Best as I can tell, I need to just give my thirty days notice and then cruise Craigslist every day, and pound on the first awesome deal I can score.
Today we saw a really nice place a little into the Berkeley hills. Nice nice nice just off 13, but, well, a mile and a half to Rockridge BART is pushing sub-optimal. Dang this lame commute! (more…)
Feedback Welcome
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/06/04/wine-faith-yoga/
Well, things have been busy. Saturday Duncan took me out to a winery shindig in Mendocino. He had originally planned to go with a beautiful woman named Janey, but this beautiful woman had some personal sympathy for my present situation, and was happy to send me along instead. I have not yet retrieved my fedora from the city, I might do that tonight, and since Duncan’s ride is a Porsche Boxster, he grabbed me a hat at Long’s drugs. “Originally I was looking at the baseball caps, but then I remembered Danny’s style!” It was a good trip, tasting wines. I grabbed a couple at this one very off-the-track winery that Duncan loves, because the wines have such excitingly distinctive tastes!
Today, I walked down to church, wearing a new shirt I had bought at Target. The farewell sermon from the outgoing intern minister, Lisa Sargent, was off the hook and beautiful. The congregation gave her a standing ovation! It was about going “off the map” into uncharted territory, in life. This is something she has done in her life, something I have done in mine, and something a lot of us tend to do at the end of Spring. So, it was apropos for so many people. One of the important themes she described was faith, and what faith is. She said “belief clings, faith lets go.” And that is how I feel . . . I have faith in myself, in my world, in the people. I have faith in my own future, however unknown it has recently become. I have faith in Dad, and his recovery. And I have faith that Yayoi . . . she will live her life, and I hope in time she will better know herself. Too bad that one had to be let go. So, I can not cling to the life I had even a few months ago, but I have faith in the new life I am leading.
I stopped by the bookstore, and got what looks to be a very good cookbook “for two, or for one.” I look forward to trying it out and eating well, on my own and I hope, on occasion, with some company. I also grabbed a yoga video. Yoga? Well, I remembered reading on Hiromi‘s blog somewhere that she used to be like me: so inflexible she couldn’t touch her toes, but thanks to yoga, life’s a lot more “wow.” There’s a class at Heather Farm later in June I might go for, but I don’t know how long I’ll keep to living in the ‘Creek, so I figured a $15 in the DVD player is worth more than an $88 class in the uncertain future, let’s give it a shot.
I also grabbed an amplified radio antenna at Radio Shack, and after a bit of waving around, have found solid reception for KQED! So, I have some interesting human voices back in the house with me!
Feedback Welcome
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/05/15/colorado/
Hello,
Last Wednesday around 8PM, my Dad experienced a stroke. I flew out here to Pueblo, CO on Thursday. He is getting better, but there’s plenty of rehabilitation ahead. My better half is back in California doing finals week. We have been having a rough time the past couple of months, to say the least. While things have tended to look pretty bleak, I continue to learn new strategies I can follow to effect positive change. I continue to be driven by the image of a better marriage. We shall see if that vision can be attained . . . for now, it is nice to be around family, where I can be a positive influence. It builds hope.
I haven’t been doing nearly as much computer stuff lately. Instead, I have been spending much more time working on personal concerns and talking to friends and family. My employer has been good about giving me some space to work things out, as well as some time off to visit Dad. All the same, I like to update the “blog” every once in a while. There is some entertainment to be found in pictures.
Regards,
/danny
3 Comments
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/05/01/day-without/
My my what is in my Netflix queue today?
How topical! Honestly, I did not set this up: that’s just how the queue shook out!
1 Comment
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/04/21/ms-walk/
After seeing Jeff’s post, I decided I’d truck down to Los Gatos this weekend to take a little 10k walk. The big benefit should be getting to see Barry, who should be walking in his wheelchair.
I never got the point of raising money by asking people to give you money for walking–I walk for free. I mean. Well, so I’ll donate my own money, but if anyone wants to make a contribution, your generosity would be appreciated. Jeff notes that donations are acceptible after the walk has happened, if you are reading this after the fact.
If any of my 408 peeps want to get together Saturday afternoon / evening, gimme a shout!
-danny
4 Comments
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/03/07/time-management/
Well, you know what? I’m getting better. Better than I was. But there’s so much farther I can go. It’s mind-blowing.
I am starting to adapt stuff from Tom Limoncelli’s awesome work, “Time Management for SysAdmins.” He assures us that it does take some time to get new habits going, but what I have so far is gratifying.
In the life goals, which I haven’t touched yet, he observed that if nothing else, writing down a goal makes it more likely that you’ll achieve it. Why? Because when you’re making decisions about what opportunities to pursue . . . you’ll have some criteria, right?
And, I haven’t gotten too nitty-gritty on the time-management, but one big thing is the idea of writing out the tasks you want to accomplish today. Just today. And push stuff you don’t have time for to tomorrow, or talk to the boss or people involved if you have too many things that can not wait for tomorrow . . . (more…)
1 Comment
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/02/27/lazy-weekend/
Wow. I was so lazy this weekend . . . sleeping in, napping, not doing nothing, eating out . . . last night? We went out and I ate meatloaf! How sloth is that?
I did pack a dozen boxes full of books, though. Yay me. But the laundry is left for this evening.
Anyway, this weekend was so fantastically lazy that when my stuff started going ringy ding this morning during the 0600+ I was actually kind of glad to get my ass outta bed and have stuff to do.
And there are things to do, oh yes . . . but I gotta keep my priorities straight and blah blah blah on the blog first.
Happy Monday, all!
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