As jotted on the Sidekick:
I know that I have not yet cried the last of my tears over the life that I have lost this year. That said, I think things are going as well as, or perhaps even better than anyone would reasonably expect. I have learned a great deal about the strength of my love and my ability to perservere through hard-love times. I have been reminded of the value of being a friend, a family member, a coworker, a parishioner, or just plain nice guy on the street for folks going through a bad patch.
I have learned to be less shy about reaching out, asking for an ear, asking for a hand, or just asking to be included.
I have a stronger bond with my Mother, Grandmother, Sister, Uncle John, Uncle Bill, Dad and Gwen.
There was the time I came home and couldn’t deal with the empty house and I called Mom and she could hear my shaky voice and she let me cry, yet again, and she knew the pain that I was in. I tear up just recounting this story, but it means the world to me.
Tonight I have to pack, not merely for a week-long business trip to Washington, DC but also I need to pack up the stuff remaining in the house–my stuff, which needs to get moved to San Francisco the day after I return from my trip. The trip should go well but it’ll be a pretty intense work experience with the guy who is replacing me. And while this guy is a thoroughly wonderful guy, I mean, working long hours in the data center followed by a shared hotel room is maybe going to be a bit much. Also, Northern Virginia is a suburban hellhole.
So, another tough week ahead, hopefully with its share of joy: meeting old friends in DC and spending time with my coworker and our boss. Then, a busy weekend of moving, then, a new life.
With no pause in between.
I know that in San Francisco I will yet shed tears over my wife, my love, my marriage, the Japanese side of my family, and the life I lost. But month after month those tears will grow fewer, and before long there will be no tears at all.
At least, no tears about the past. The future holds many tears of joy and sorrow yet to be shed.
Alas, I ended up a bit melancholy and ended up watching a DVD of Newsradio instead. And the week has been going less-than-awesome, such that my return may potentially be postponed a bit. But, we do what we gotta do . . .