dannyman.toldme.com

This page features every post I write, and is dedicated to Andrew Ho.

February 19, 2013
Technical, Technology, Testimonials

SAQ: Is a DSL Modem Actually a Modem?

Link: https://dannyman.toldme.com/2013/02/19/saq-is-a-dsl-modem-actually-a-modem/

This question came to mind the other day. “DSL modem” sounds dumb, because as any geek over the age of 30 knows, a “modem” is a device with MODulates and DEmodulates a digital signal over an analog network. Thus a “Digital Subscriber Line” has no need for modulating and demodulating.

modem and phone

THIS is a modem!
CC: BryanAlexander

Except, DSL is actually an overlay on the analog telephone network. So, wait . . . what?

Wikipedia wastes its time on a pointless distinction:

“The term DSL modem is technically used to describe a modem which connects to a single computer, through a USB port or is installed in a computer PCI slot. The more common DSL router which combines the function of a DSL modem and a home router, is a standalone device which can be connected to multiple computers …”

Yeah, really helpful. But as geeks know, you need to check the Wikipedia talk page:

The usage “DSL Modem” is not erroneous. A DSL modem does indeed perform modulation and demodulation. It uses either Quadrature Amplitude Modulation (QAM) or Phase Shift Keying (PSK) modulation. Multiple modulated subcarriers are then combined into an OFDM stream. The distinction between this type of modem and a traditional one is that the traditional one modulates audio frequency signals whereas the DSL modem is upconverted to an RF band. But they both perform modulation and demodulation. The digital signals are not sent as baseband digital signals.

I do not know what all those words mean, but I read that as “a DSL modem is still a modem. It modulates and demodulates a digital signal into the RF band of a telephone line.”

I made my own contribution to Wikipedia’s Talk page:

The distinction between whether your “DSL modem” connects via USB, ethernet, wireless, or provides NAT, sounds like a spurious distinction to me. I interpret and interchange “DSL modem” and “DSL router” as “the network device that bridges your local computing resources to your network service provider.”

But if I have learned anything about nomenclature disputes on Wikipedia, it is that they are not worth the effort.

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February 15, 2013
Presidential Decrees

Presidential Decree #5: Traffic Light Equality

Link: https://dannyman.toldme.com/2013/02/15/presidential-decree-5-traffic-light-equality/

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all people are created equal, that they are endowed by the Creator with certain inalienable rights: among these are life, liberty, and an equal right to cross a road intersection.”

If the pedestrians must push a button to cross the street, then the motorists have to push a button too.

If the bicyclists have to walk over the sidewalk to press a button to get a light to cross the street, then motorists have to get up out of their cars to press the button to cross the street.

If there are expensive sensors embedded in the road to detect a car to give them a light, then there are less expensive sensors to detect the presence of pedestrians and bicyclists who may also wish to cross the street.

If that is too difficult, then knock it off with the sensors and just program the light to give everyone a chance to traverse the intersection safely.

Also, it is decreed that if you want sensor-activated lights, then ye shall fund research to use weatherized video cameras to watch traffic of all modes approaching the intersection, in an effort to cycle the lights appropriately before the pedestrian/bicycle/automobile gets to the red light.

See Also: Copenhagenize.com: Motorists Dismount

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January 30, 2013
Presidential Decrees

Presidential Decree #4: Webinars

Link: https://dannyman.toldme.com/2013/01/30/presidential-decree-4-webinars/

It is cool if you want to conduct training or give presentations using Internet technology. However, if you want to call it a “Webinar” you are required to ship a safety helmet and sippy cup to all participants. If you’re going to be retarded, be responsible about it.

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January 14, 2013
Politics, Testimonials

Speak Softly, and Carry a Crowbar

Link: https://dannyman.toldme.com/2013/01/14/speak-softly-and-carry-a-crowbar/

Biiiiig guns!!!

We are not the young, strong, boisterous nation that we once were. We are older and slower, hopefully a bit wiser. We are beginning to suspect that if we sold the old gunboat we have parked in the driveway that we could afford to repave the driveway, upgrade to energy-saving appliances, help the grandkids through school, and still have a few bucks left over to take the wife out for tango lessons.

But how can you be safe without a gunboat in the driveway? Well, I have been thinking about that. It turns out that almost any burglar can be scared off by a guy wielding a 2×4, or a baseball bat, or a crowbar. In fact, Grandpa used to sleep with a crowbar by his bed, just in case. He was tough and never scared. And these days if you don’t find an old man with a crowbar scary you can bet his wife is standing behind him, on the phone with the cops.

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January 6, 2013
Politics, Religion, Sundry, Testimonials

Shen Yun

Link: https://dannyman.toldme.com/2013/01/06/shen-yun/

Some weeks back I saw a poster for “Shen Yun: Reviving 5,000 Years of Civilization” at work and thought “Excellent! The wife digs artistic performance and bonus points for digging some traditional Chinese culture.” I grabbed some tickets and mentioned to a coworker. “Shen Yun? That’s Falun Gong.” I know very little about Falun Gong, except that the Chinese government views them as a threatening cult. Of course, the mainland government is easily wigged out over any perceived threat to stability, so I figured that doesn’t tell us much. We’re seeing a performance sponsored by an oppressed religious minority. That could mean anything, really.

The performance was pretty cool. Lots of dancers in colorful costumes evoking stories from Chinese history. I’d say it is like watching a Chinese version of the Nutcracker Suite. Lots of color, lots of movement, and good music. Although they’re telling mostly ancient stories they make effective use of a modern prop of a projected backstage. This saves not only on set design, but the characters at various points jump off the back stage and fly up into the screen as digital avatars. The first time I saw this I thought it was a bit gimmicky, but by the second instance I thought “hey, that is pretty neat, and I bet really magical for the kids.”

And then there’s the Falun Dafa bits. They have some solo singers come out and sing in Chinese, which is cool. They even put the lyrics on the back screen in Chinese and English. I am sure some of the poetic nuance is lost in translation, but the songs lament that we are … most of us, anyway … Gods from the Heavens who have come down to Earth for some reason, something about breaking the cycle of reincarnation and restoring the cycle of creation and destruction. To the disinterested observer it comes across as Buddhist Scientology, and the cycle of creation and destruction sounds like the sort of thing that would raise the ear of a mainland censor.

Two of the dance performances are set in modern China. In one, a tourist gets sent to jail when he unintentionally takes a picture of an innocuous Falun Dafa protest. The guy is tossed in a cell with the Falun Dafa kids, whom he wants nothing to do with, but after the guards treat him contemptibly, everyone in the cell identifies their common predicament. I thought “alright, the Chinese government overdoes it, and many social reform movements have found strength in the jails. Right on, brothers! Fight the power!” In the final dance, the Falun Dafa are having a great time protesting in Tienanmen Square. Right on, sisters! Let us see your “tank man” performance! As soon as the Chinese police come out to bust some heads, a massive earthquake starts to destroy Beijing. Huh? That kind of sucks! But, no worry, the Gods come down and restore Beijing … everything except the Great Hall of the People … ah!

Yeah, I can see how even a reasonable government might not be super enthusiastic about that sort of performance.

The show was overall entertaining. I would still hope that people can practice their religion freely. But whatever innate sympathy I might have had for the Falun folks is diminished, especially by their last performance. When it comes to resistance movements, I am most sympathetic to the non-violent, and to those who aren’t fantasizing that apocalypse is an element to their eventual success.

1 Comment

January 4, 2013
News and Reaction, Technical, Technology

Our Future: Autonomous Cars and Transit

Link: https://dannyman.toldme.com/2013/01/04/our-future-autonomous-cars-and-transit/

My opinion, one of many, as left in a comment:

The current Google Car can operate on city streets autonomously, but it needs someone doing the backend work of getting all the streets mapped out perfectly, figuring out exactly where the lanes are. Then in order to do a truly autonomous taxi service, you’ll want a two-way video linkup for the dispatcher to pilot the car if it gets stuck in some situation like the fire department blocking the street, or to monitor security.

For that reason, the current livery model works really well: a small, local company will service its fleet and its IT needs. The biggest expense, the driver, will be eliminated. This will serve an evolutionary role of a taxi service within a limited service area. This will be mostly shopping trips for car-less people, and “last mile” services to transit connection points, like Taxis serve now. The evolution comes with lower cost: short-haul, off-peak commuter needs, more “last mile” transit service where an autotaxi will be faster and more convenient than the local bus service, but also cheap.

What happens next? “Roaming” agreements among carriers sharing a common technology platform. The service areas of the autotaxi companies grow larger: your local autotaxi can drop you off on a shopping trip to a regional big-box store two towns over and the local autotaxi there can bring you back cheap. Expanded mobility, less reliance on transit.

This doesn’t mean the end of transit. Individual automobiles still require more energy and infrastructure to operate. The autotaxi will dominate short trips, but especially at peak demand, we will need to rely on higher-capacity transit backbones.

The biggest driver of the need for peak-period transit handoff is the capacity limitations of the autotaxi carriers. You simply can not carry everyone, but you want to be a part of the picture. So, yeah, the service gets you from your house to the transit hub, maybe work out relationships with local transit agencies so thaty “last mile” can be served by auto-taxi as a part of the transit fare itself.

The other limitation is for longer-range travel, even a fully autonomous rubber-on-pavement highway system will not be able to match the speed of rail-based or air travel. The autotaxi might drive you fifty miles to the high-speed train station, but then you’ll board the bullet train for LA which will be faster and charge a lower fare.

Anyway, the roaming evolution will mean that we go from local taxi service to regional airport shuttle service, and this will be great for those who live some distance from a long-haul transportation hub who want to make it to/from the airport, &c.

I think autonomous cars are a very reasonable evolution on human-piloted cars, which were a very reasonable evolution on horse-drawn carriages. In the twentieth century we evolved from horses to humans, and in the twenty-first we will evolve even more seamlessly from human to computer.

Our streets didn’t change much from the carriage to the automobile era. They’re wider and too dangerous for people to walk in. I doubt the streets will change much in the autonomous era, except they’ll narrow again and it will be safe to walk, bike, and play in them again.

My other prediction is that the autotaxi will make getting around so convenient, that car ownership will continue to decline. You will see a winners-and-losers scenario in the auto industry: the losers will realize too late just how badly they are in trouble. They will try to spread Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt as to the safety and wisdom of reliance on autonomous vehicles, just as they try to sell some. The winners will have identified the coming trend and geared their business to serving the needs of autonomous fleet operators, and to those niche consumers for whom autonomous vehicles are not appropriate, or who just love driving their own car. Other winners will include pedestrians, cyclists, the young, the elderly, people with disabilities, suburbanites, night life, and very likely the environment.

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December 17, 2012
Photo-a-Day

Happy Cat

Link: https://dannyman.toldme.com/2012/12/17/happy-cat/

Maxwell smiles during a belly rub.

Maxwell smiles during a belly rub.

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December 17, 2012
Presidential Decrees

Presidential Decree #3: A Well-Regulated Militia

Link: https://dannyman.toldme.com/2012/12/17/presidential-decree-3-a-well-regulated-militia/

“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

You can own any firearm you want. All firearms will be stored at armories. Armories will be regulated by the ATF. Safe transportation of armaments among munitions factories and armories will be entrusted to the National Guard. Owners of firearms may store their firearms at any armories of their choice. The operation of public armories shall be funded by subscriber fees.

Firearms owners will have access to their weapons for maintenance and skills training at their armory of choice. Different armories may have different facilities for maintenance and skills training.

Licensed hunters may “check out” not more than two firearms for the duration of the hunting season. Hunters may only check out firearms suitable for their type of hunting. Firearms intended for human combat are not to be checked out.

The Military, National Guard, and Law Enforcement Agencies shall have the ability to license their agents to bear firearms for human combat. These agents must have current training on the appropriate use of these firearms to ensure public safety. Agents should be provided with sufficient access to these firearms for the performance of their duty. When not on duty, firearms will be stored at either a public armory or a private armory maintained by their employer. Agents entrusted with combat firearms must have free and immediate access to mental health services during their employment, and submit to a basic psychiatric review every three months.

In the event of a collapse in public order, state of emergency, suspension of habeas corpus, revolution, coup d’etat, military invasion or occupation, or other circumstances in which government of the people, by the people, and for the people has been compromised or forfeited, armories may release firearms for public use at their discretion.

1 Comment

December 6, 2012
JIRA

JIRA Cascading Select in Jython

Link: https://dannyman.toldme.com/2012/12/06/jira-cascading-select-in-jython/

The Cascading Select Custom Field type in JIRA is a bear. The first trick is learning to set the “null” value and then the “1” child value. The next trick is building out a ModifiedValue object to hold your change. Then you get to jump down the rabbit hole of finding the correct Option values for the custom field, and setting them with the tricks just mentioned.

So, in the interests of saving me sanity next time I need to set a Cascading Select, here’s a Jython function that works in Jira 4.2:

import logging
 
from com.atlassian.jira import ComponentManager
from com.atlassian.jira.issue.customfields.manager import OptionsManager
from com.atlassian.jira.issue.customfields.view import CustomFieldParamsImpl
from com.atlassian.jira.issue import ModifiedValue
from com.atlassian.jira.issue.util import DefaultIssueChangeHolder
from java.util import HashSet
 
# cf = custom field
# issue = issue to modify
# parent = top value to set (string value)
# child = child value to set (string value)
def set_cascading_select(cf, issue, parent, child):
    # Get the managers
    cfm = ComponentManager.getInstance().getCustomFieldManager()
    om = ComponentManager.getComponentInstanceOfType(OptionsManager)
    fli = ComponentManager.getInstance().getFieldLayoutManager().getFieldLayout(issue).getFieldLayoutItem(cf)
 
    parent_options = om.getOptions(cf.getRelevantConfig(issue))
    parent_option = None
    child_option = None
    try:
        parent_option = parent_options.getOptionForValue(parent, None)
    except:
        pass
    try:
        child_option = parent_options.getOptionForValue(child, parent_option.getOptionId())
    except:
        pass
 
    if parent_option and child_option:
        old_application = issue.getCustomFieldValue(cf)
        new_application = CustomFieldParamsImpl(cf)
        a_none = HashSet()
        a_none.add(parent_option)
        a_1 = HashSet()
        a_1.add(child_option)
        new_application.put(None, a_none)
        new_application.put("1", a_1)
        mf = ModifiedValue(old_application, new_application)
        cf.updateValue(fli, issue, mf, DefaultIssueChangeHolder())
        logging.debug("set issue " + issue.getKey() + " cf " + cf.getName() + " setting " + parent + "/" + child)
        return True
    else:
        logging.error("invalid parent/child option: " + parent + "/" + child)
        return None

Example function calls from within a validation hook:

cfm = ComponentManager.getInstance().getCustomFieldManager()
 
application_cf = cfm.getCustomFieldObjectByName("Beverages")
 
# good
set_cascading_select(application_cf, issue, "Hard Drinks", "Whiskey")
# bad child
set_cascading_select(application_cf, issue, "Hard Drinks", "Coke")
# bad parent
set_cascading_select(application_cf, issue, "Soft Drinks", "Whiskey")
# total crap
set_cascading_select(application_cf, issue, "Illicit Drugs", "Bath Salts")

The logging stuff is useful for debugging, if you have that set up, else just remove those bits.

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December 3, 2012
Presidential Decrees

Presidential Decree #2: Car Alarms

Link: https://dannyman.toldme.com/2012/12/03/presidential-decree-2-car-alarms/

Audible car alarms are a public nuisance. Their use is thus prohibited, with the following exception:

The owner or operator of an automobile may actively trigger an audible car alarm if it would serve the interests of public safety. Any activation of an audible car alarm must be accompanied by a request for emergency services. Any button which triggers an audible car alarm must also send an automated distress signal to public safety authorities. If authorities do not respond in a timely fashion, concerned citizens are empowered to act on the behalf of the authorities.

If an alarm is raised in error, the responding authority must respond in one of two ways, at their discretion:

1) Use “the jaws of life” or comparable apparatus to remove or destroy the audible portion of the car alarm. If this apparatus is not available, sledge hammers, firearms, explosives and other such tools may be used, if they can be safely deployed without jeopardizing public safety.

2) Impound the automobile for not more than 90 days. Upon confiscation, all audible alarm technologies will be removed or rendered permanently inoperable, and the automobile will be made available to members of the impounding organization for their use for either official business or employee leisure.

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December 3, 2012
Excerpts, Letters to The Man, Technical

Collocation vs Colocation

Link: https://dannyman.toldme.com/2012/12/03/collocation-vs-colocation/

This drives me insane. Part of the challenge is that most software dictionaries are unaware of the word “colocation” and are happy to offer “collocation” as an alternative, but that is wrong wrong wrong wrong and it makes me a little nuts every time.

So, here is some explanation I just sent to the NOC and copied to the Sales team of a “Colocation Provider” who keeps sending me messages from something called “Collocation Status Report”:

Dear NOC:

A collocation is a statistic used by linguists to determine the
frequency with which words and phrases are found together.

On your contact information page, there is an option to contact Sales
about “Colocation”

Assuming that you are indeed in the business of Colocation, and not
actually updating us on the status of word frequencies, please fix the
name in your outgoing envelope from “Collocation Status Reports” to
“Colocation Status Reports”

Thanks,
-danny

Yup. That’s all I have to say about that.

1 Comment

November 28, 2012
About Me, News and Reaction

Also Not Me

Link: https://dannyman.toldme.com/2012/11/28/also-not-me/

Another Daniel Howard, within a week, committing a felony offense, this time in Leeds, UK:

Published on Friday 23 November 2012 06:50

A MAN who was caught growing cannabis in his cellar months after being given a suspended sentence for the same offence has been sent to jail.

Daniel Howard’s second illegal enterprise was discovered by police when they went to his home in Harehills, Leeds, looking for another person who was wanted for arrest.

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