Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2004/07/21/the-stranger/
You don’t know me, I don’t know you
But stop me on the street,
And I may find a buck or two
To help you to your feet.
You say that you’ve just straightened out
And now’s your time to change
But I have not been in your shoes,
So your words sound kind of strange.
You know a nun down at the church
Who can verify your tale:
You need eight bucks to get to Rockford
Where your fortunes should prevail.
And maybe you could pay me back,
At some undetermined date,
Those few more bucks, that I could spare
Would bode well for your fate.
But I’m a stranger — not your friend,
And you are on your way.
And when you land on Rockford’s soil,
Some friends you’ll have that day.
You are on your way to something new,
I’ve already got my life:
This nice man is preoccupied
By Family, Work and Wife.
Though some change I spare for you
Even when my budget’s broke,
This nice man’s heart can only hold
So many kindred folk.
I may even dig down deeper,
Find some cash for your dire need,
Then smile at you and bid farewell:
Your fate is yours to heed.
Feedback Welcome
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2004/07/21/the-war-on-ambiguity/
From a note I jotted to myself, titled “Argument Against Empire”
In a world without borders our power can always go somewhere else:
Offshore tax havens
The Silicon Valley of Bangalore
And it comes from somewhere else:
Our mobility comes from foreign oil
Our military superiority comes from advanced research and technology and our intellectual freedom.
Our riches come from the self-interest of capital, which is driven by pragmatic opportunism before national allegiance.
We have no monopoly on these.
In the end we are left with our constitutional traditions
Our republican system of distributed political power
Democracy is an insurance policy against the excesses of abusive government
We can feed our nation without difficulty
And we are secured by two great oceans and two great friendly neighbors
But in a mobile world we are vulnerable to airplanes and anthrax.
We are vulnerable to pandemics and poor public health and food safety systems.
We die more commonly in car crashes, of obesity and diabetes.
We die of cancers from cigarettes.
We die of consumerism.
What I was thinking here, is that the “War on Terror” is misplaced. Terrorism is just one threat of many against which we must remain vigilant. I don’t think that George Bush is a vigilant man. He was caught unprepared on September 11, 2001, and he has been trying to answer for that ever since. I’d rather vote for somebody who is more on the ball, and has a more holistic understanding of what our nation needs. But we get the leaders we deserve. Each of us needs to keep an eye on the world around ourselves, and do what we can to push things in the right directions.
Feedback Welcome
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2002/09/25/corporeal-ecosystem/
Cite de la Science et l’Industre, Paris.
Our body is a complex ecosystem comprised of specialized organs that behave according to their own advantage, with no greater concern for the whole. White blood cells have no opinion about disease, except that it is good to eat.
Human organization, like ecosystems, is an amalgamation of seperate entities with differing agendae. Governments, corporations, and other organizations, like brains, attempt to organize the free agents towards a conscious goal.
It would be interesting, for modern fiction, to see a world in which at the levels of body, human world, and natural ecosystem, are played out at each level, as something for the protagonist to deal with. Douglas Adams’ work comes to mind, or perhaps William Gibson’s _Neuromancer_, where the protagonist must work against other consciousnesses, some of which have set up his own body against him.
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Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/1999/02/14/irc-transcrip/
*** Starting conversation with ian
ian: hey bum where are ya?
dannyman: urbana
ian: i know
ian: didnt think ya were around
ian: so lemme ask you since i asked blake
ian: what you gonna do with yer life
dannyman: make some money, bone some chicks, raise some kids possibly, cause some grief, cause some joy, and die.
dannyman: you?
ian: wow
ian spins
ian: same
ian: hopefully
dannyman: you had anything specific in mind?
ian: well
ian: dunno
ian: me or you?
dannyman: you baby
ian: well
ian: ok
ian: help
ian: make ppl smile
ian: if i can create on my own
ian: cool
ian: or at least work with something that accomplishes the same
ian: i dunno
ian: ok so
ian: well
ian: how do you balance livin with idealism
dannyman: i take what i need, skim a little more of what i want, and the rest i give away
dannyman: but since i’ve been inclined to take what i need, that’s tended to leave little for charity
dannyman: after the degree, i’m going to ask for more
ian: well fuk that
ian: fuk the work
ian: see ya look out for danny first it seems
ian: seems
dannyman: fuck the work?
dannyman: in most cases, danny comes first
ian: ya
ian: most
ian: ok
ian: where do you draw that line?
ian: is it anything you decide or is it just there?
dannyman: well, it’s kinda like, i’m a component of bigger things. what is my purpose? i should sacrifice of myself for my family, my nation, the people, stuff like that.
ian: well yeah
ian: thats the choice
ian: descision
ian: cant spell
ian: but where do you decide
ian: you know you have something to give
ian: where do you decide?
dannyman: well i know i have plenty to give, it is a question of when it is necessary to give. others give for me so why should i give myself away? you give when it is needed.
ian: hehe
ian: damn danny
ian: how do you know
ian: you could easily decide
dannyman: kinda like blood – you healthy, you give blood, you have blood to spare. you in trouble, they give blood, because you need it.
ian: its never needed but for me
ian: yeah but not everyone is like that
dannyman: what is never needed?
ian: they take
ian: and they dont give
dannyman: hrmm
dannyman: it probably depends how optimistic you are too. ;)
dannyman: and what you value
ian: well thats what im askin
ian: hehe
dannyman: nevermind that i have more cause for optimism than you do … among ppl, i’m in a very good place.
dannyman: but then, so are you.
ian: well
dannyman: it’s kinda like the government … always takes taxes, but then i don’t particularly mind the free roads, the subsidised oil, the free and subsidised education, the attempts at social welfare, the national defense …
dannyman: … nevermind the hassle it saves if i had to provide all that shit myuself
ian: true
dannyman: on a smaller level, i try to be friendly to ppl, smile, be polite, courteuous.
dannyman: sometimes when you need that, then other ppl come through, but then fools like me have likely been smiling at them a long time is why. ;)
ian: lol
ian: you think
dannyman: it’s like that saying “if you’ve got it, flaunt it!”
ian: i dunno
ian: matches brb
dannyman: and the more optimistic you are about what you’ve got, the more you can flaunt it.
ian: see i got too much of that christian shit
ian: i feel almost bad flaunting it
ian: its like
ian: help
ian: and fade back
dannyman: hrmm
dannyman: flaunting good will should be a good christian thing though.
dannyman: it’s like, if i goty cash on me, i’m a good tipper
ian: should i agreee
dannyman: not like i wal;k around in flashy nikes. ;)
ian: didnt get taught that for a long time
ian: ya
dannyman: though some ppl get annoyed by cheery ppl
ian: lots do
ian: hehe
ian: just been hard fer me lately to decide if im helpin anyone
ian: all my life when i worked for anything it was to help and all
ian: now i dont feel that :/
dannyman: hrmmm
dannyman: well, you work to help ppl get on the internet all day ya?
ian: yeah but why
dannyman: and you don’t take much in the way of money eh?
ian: not for any idealistic reason
ian: hehe no
ian: :P
dannyman: and then to top that off, you don’t spend all that big enteract paycheck all overyourself either …
ian: lol no i feel too guilty :P
ian: but shit
dannyman: maybe in your spare time, you still feel like you got extra to give, you can volunteer and shit.
ian: this is the first job
ian: where
ian: i werked for profit
dannyman: profit is a good thing, ian.
dannyman: depends what you do with it.
ian: well
ian: how did you get that viewpoint
dannyman: you can profit from work so you’ve more to give elsewhere.
dannyman: i listened to enough republicans and extracted the grains of truth.
ian: course you could work direct to help
dannyman: and my mom is a good example.
ian: hehe
ian: how so?
dannyman: she’s pulling down big money now, but still volunteers her extra time at church and library, and has 52 charities which get a contribution once per year.
ian: yeah but you always profit off somoene
dannyman: if nobody profits, what’s the sense in the loss?
dannyman: the point to investing your time is that someone profits
ian: there is none
ian: no loss i can live with
dannyman: hrmm
dannyman: i read gandhi
ian: loss hurts and i dont like
dannyman: i started to get tired of his tireless self-richeousness.
dannyman: and i wasn’t the only one.
ian: i never read
dannyman: one of his sons made the point that if ppl like gandhi are giving it all away, maybe it is so that others can take some.
dannyman: some ppl like to devote their lives to service
dannyman: some devote their lives to consumption.
dannyman: i want to balance it out in my life, but provide more than i take.
dannyman: that’s partly coz when i was a kid, we din’ have a lot, so i know i really don’t need so many toys ..
ian: ya
dannyman: some ppl don’t realise they want too much … welll, i can be happier with less, so why not?
dannyman: they get too greedy, i’l lay the smack down, and if i get too greedy, some one can smack me.
dannyman: so if you wanna give it away, fine. if you wanna treat yourself, fine.
dannyman: i tend to like the less self-indulgent myself. :)
*** Signoff: ian (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))
ian^: hehe fukin enteract
dannyman: charitibility is an opinion, a point of view. gandhi thought pacifism was a similar point of view, and hoped that if one were to take up a good cause by their preferred means of violence that they might also succeed.
ian^: and do you usually assume ppl are say more self sacrificing or less?
dannyman: i usually assume i can spot ‘m from time to time.
ian^: to me tis a hard descision
ian^: idealy
ian^: to say well
ian^: they want to be that
ian^: let em
dannyman: i figure what goes around comes around … too much greed will lead to disaster, which breeds sacrifice
ian^: ill be how i am
dannyman: as long as you are aware of what’
dannyman: s going on, you’ve got a leg up on everyone else. ;)
ian^: how do i know
ian^: i mean
ian^: i could be nieve
ian^: sp?
dannyman: naive
ian^: thanks
ian^: hehe college boy ;)
dannyman: you live you learn
dannyman: the greedies will take you for a fool
ian^: overall ppl who give are easy prey
ian^: ya
ian^: but is that bad?
dannyman: while others will give you gifts you never realise
ian^: sometimes
dannyman: and if the charitable are taken advantage of too much, they become less charitable
dannyman: if everyone around you is a pig, you may find your charity wasted among them
ian^: but
ian^: then you get into religion
ian^: give and try to show
dannyman: speak for yourself ;)
ian^: someday one might see
dannyman: give for the sake of giving
dannyman: if you can educate with an example, that’s nice too.
ian^: lots to think about
ian^: i mean
ian^: shit
ian^: give why
ian^: to puff yerself up?
dannyman: but giving for the sake of showing how you can do your good deeds … showing off? that’s just another form of self gratification
ian^: y
ian^: a
dannyman: you give because it’s right
dannyman: din jesus say to pray in the closet
ian^: hehe
ian^: and who does
ian^: not many
dannyman: but still be a witness for others
ian^: from my life
ian^: in chitown
ian^: i mean
ian^: i can count on one hand
dannyman: the best ppl i find keep their goodnerss close to their heart, while preaching or demonstrating by example on occasion
ian^: ppl who feel like that
ian^: ya
ian^: say me
ian^: not yer concern
ian^: but
dannyman: many ppl don’t question themselves like you are
dannyman: some are good without realkizing it
dannyman: some are bad for the same reason
ian^: wish i could do that
ian^: i think too much
dannyman: you’re just conscious of what your doing, which is a nifty gift, even if it might drive you batty sometimes
ian^: lol
ian^: make me dum danny
ian^: :P
ian^: i always wanted to ask ya
dannyman: hehehe
ian^: i mean you can go in circles
dannyman: i’d tell you to go beat yourself in the head, but you couldn’t do that because you know better
ian^: i can anyway
ian^: like ok im good
ian^: why am i good
ian^: why do i feel bad for being good
ian^: why do i care
ian^: but then its always that core
ian^: where it is beyond me
dannyman: well, you’re good and you can do better. are you being a sucker? i dunno. are things working for you anyway? push the envelope maybe, or just go wack off.
ian^: lol
dannyman: it’s all the same to an atheist like me.
ian^: as i am
dannyman: coz in the end i’
ian^: say now
ian^: talkin to blake
ian^: tryin to find out
ian^: he sees it diff
dannyman: m a mass of pulp who does good for his own self-conscious sake
ian^: well ok danny
dannyman: i think me and blake talking could be insightful :)
ian^: why is is self concious?
dannyman: what about self conscious?
ian^: how much do you look at what you do
ian^: or do you just do
dannyman: mmmm prolly a lot more than most ppl. i keep trying to outsmart myself you know ;)
dannyman: but then i never get anything done unless i tell my consciousness to shut up and do
dannyman: dumb ppl get a lot of shit done
ian^: why?
dannyman: do they do the right thing? i hope so.
ian^: well why do they
ian^: assuming they do
dannyman: smart ppl better do better smarter coz they blow a lot of time thinking about it ;)
dannyman: why do they do right?
ian^: ya
ian^: i mean
ian^: well
dannyman: maybe they were brought up right
ian^: hehe why though
dannyman: a lot of them do wrong. bad environment
ian^: could have easily been brought up to be selfish
dannyman: ayup
ian^: and think hurt is ok
dannyman: ayup
dannyman: they msay think hurt is GOOD
dannyman: if they fuck you over, they’re doing good by keeping you down and taking care of number one
ian^: ya
ian^: so
ian^: say to me
ian^: thats not kewl
ian^: that hurts
dannyman: no it sucks
ian^: and brings everything down
ian^: but
ian^: who am i to say/
ian^: it keeps them alive
dannyman: so the clever ones can maybe figure out a way to convince them that hurt aing good
ian^: ya
ian^: you dont find many clever evil ppl
ian^: hehe
ian^: when ya do though
ian^: they are GOOD at it
ian^: hehe
dannyman: a benefit of sel;f-awareness and understanding moticvations is that you can maybe alter your own ambitions and others too
ian^: not to run in circles
dannyman: a lot of clever evil ppl are either lucky, or they’re really torn up inside
ian^: cause i do
ian^: but hmm
ian^: too much catholic guilt
dannyman: well, you run in circles, you get in shape for when you gotta run somewhere else. ;)
ian^: how do you look at that and not think better of yourself?
ian^: hehe
dannyman: how do i look at what?
ian^: that is the quote of the year i think :D
ian^: well ok
ian^: take you
ian^: how you see yerself
ian^: not dum
ian^: say hmm
ian^: not better
ian^: but
ian^: in a sense
dannyman: well
dannyman: i’m extrremely intelligent
dannyman: i’m not better though. better off
dannyman: might does not make right, though it gives you the chance to see yourself that way.
ian^: seems hard the way things are to fall into that
dannyman: i suppose i could teach myself to manipulate others very well for my own ends, and whose to say i shouldn’t … if i’m smarter, i deserve more no?
ian^: yes
ian^: and you could say
dannyman: no i don’t desrve more
ian^: well you make your world
ian^: why dont you?
dannyman: i was given more, so i should figure out how to give more.
dannyman: the game of accumulating more that gets boriong … the game of balancing things out is more interesting. :)
ian^: why do you think that thouhg
ian^: agreed
ian^: but i mean
ian^: how many ppl you know that think
ian^: i was given so much
ian^: i should share
ian^: i dunno
ian^: lol i know im not gonna know tonihgt
ian^: if it all clicked id be handing out danny books :P
dannyman: sure … if it starts to make sense to you, please write it down and send it over. :)
ian^: lol
ian^: dont hold yer breath
ian^: :P
dannyman: coz then you’ll save me the work of understanding it more formally.
ian^: i doubt that :P
dannyman: aww c’;mon bro, i’m just tryin’ to mooch good works offa ya. :)
ian^: lol
ian^: night danny
ian^: girlie callin
dannyman: score!
ian^: lol
ian^: shush
ian^: just called to say she is goin out some :P
dannyman: going out some?
dannyman: with you?
ian^: ya
ian^: no
ian^: lol
ian^: course not
dannyman: hehehe
ian^: :P
ian^: cut my hair too short fer that
ian^: :P
dannyman: well, i did have a hope there you know. ;)
ian^: nono
ian^: heheheheh
*** Ending conversation with ian^
ian^: hey one last thing
ian^: i could look but have you updated yer journal at all?
dannyman: not in a while
ian^: i saw
ian^: why not?
dannyman: busy, but also unsettled
dannyman: i’m dating a 17-year old for one …
ian^: asian again?
ian^: hehe
dannyman: not sure how much i wanna talk about it before i’ve talked to her some more.
ian^ nods
dannyman: no, she looks a lot like me actually
ian^: i gave up someone for stiinky enteract
ian^: wow
ian^: hehe
dannyman: frankly, i’m glad to branch out, but there’s always gotta be a catch. ;)
dannyman: no wonder you look so defeated. :)
dannyman: well, inddex is working
ian^: how so?
ian^: im scattered
ian^: tonight is my rum nighht
ian^: forgive me
dannyman: thas okay dude
ian^ sighs
dannyman: well, you have an aura about you of “droopy” you know, the cartoon dog? that’s because you chose work over nookie.
ian^: ya i know
ian^: this is the first time too
ian^: i dont like it
dannyman: you’ll perk up someday. get yourself a bug :)
ian^: lol
ian^: ghia!
dannyman: that’s how i got me bethy here. :)
ian^: :D
ian^: i member now you mentioned
ian^: same girl
ian^: ?
dannyman: she was cruisin with the girlfriends, then suddenly flipped for my beetle. :)
dannyman: yup
ian^: :DDD
dannyman: pimpmobile i tell ya :)
ian^: lol
Feedback Welcome
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/1998/02/22/the-man-who-sold-the-world/
I’ve been reading up on Roman history. There’s an exam on Tuesday. I think I’ll do alright. I’ve done a decent job with mostly keeping up with readings, and it’s a survey course, so hopefully my relaxed attitude will be better reflected by my peers in the grading curve.
Recently I developed for myself a new … thing.
Yeah. In my home directory there’s a file called scorecard.txt which I fill out every day … something like at the end of the day looking back and reviewing what has or hasn’t been accomplished. The categories I’m keeping presently include something I’ve read, outside of class, a good deed, my “high point”, a “lesson learned” and an “Idea for Tomorrow”
Reading, that’s important to me. I’d like to be able to say most any day that I voluntarily read something I had some reason to find interesting.
The good deed … well, it’s not even a Boy Scout thing so much as it reflects a belief on my part that we live for others. We’re social creatures and all, and if I can’t think of any good thing I’ve done for my community or some person, well … This way I can also keep track of what I’ve been doing good, make sure I don’t “fall behind” as it were. For Friday, for example, the best I could offer was “held a door open”
I’m thinking I won’t keep this public on the web page just yet, but for now, for understanding, howzabout a sampler?
-----
22 February, 1998
-----
Read:
Discover - article about building microscopic robots
Good deed:
I was prepared to give up a seat on Tim's couch for Jacob, when Eric
finally gave in and did as he was asked. I handed him the husband I had
prepared to use.
Complimented Ganita on her emerald crushed velvet shirt.
High point:
Idea drawing parallel between Apostle Paul and Gandhi in that they both
desire above any other capability of man "love" or "charity"
Lesson learned:
Hypothesis - Moral altruism may be a consistent end of philosophers. To
catch popular acceptance though, they must tie this to a material benefit -
heavenly reward for Paul, national self-reliance and peace for Gandhi ...
racial equity and personal piety for MLK, etc.
Idea for tomorrow:
Catch NetDev AM meeting, study more for history, microtheme.
I just filled that out right now.
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Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/1997/10/21/fisting/
I persisted, though. I told him how we had peeked through the French doors into the famous restaurant. I asked him what was on the other side of that wall now.
His reply, which he himself considered a bland statement of fact, fell so harshly on my ears that he might as well have slapped me hard in the face. He said this:
“Fist-fucking films.”
It woke me up a little, that I should be so surprised and appalled. He was sorry, as he would tell me later, to have brought a sweet little old man such ghastly news about what was going on right next door. He might have been my father, and I his little child. He even said to me, “Never mind.”
“Tell me,” I said.
So he explained slowly and patiently, and most reluctantly, that there was a motion-picture theater where the restaurant used to be. It specialized in films of male homosexual acts of love, and that their climaxes commonly consisted of one actor’s thrusting his fist up the fundament of another actor.
I was speechless. Never had I dreamed that the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America and the enchanting technology of a motion-picture camera would be combined to form such an atrocity.
“Sorry,” he said.
“I doubt very much if you’re to blame,” I said. “Good night.” I went in search of my room.
Kurt Vonnegut
Jailbird
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Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/1991/10/15/moody-paragraph/
[An assignment from high school, recently re-discovered. It received an A grade with the notes “Bravo!” and “nice conclusion” -danny, 2009-03-28]
DAN HOWARD ENGLISH
MOODY PARAGRAPH:
Morbid, gloomy, etc. I write it, you call it.
I was stumbling down the street on a gloomy afternoon, in the very rainy month of June. I was taken by surprise – by a monster twice my size, as he started ripping organs from my body. I fell over into the wet and grimy, filthy street, my arteries spewing out blood in sudden bursts, mixing with the puddles of water that had collected over the sewer, which had been clogged by an unknown radioactive substance that had fallen from the sky the day before.
Suddenly, a bolt of lightning fell from the sky, which had turned a dark black during the day, and killed the monster which was busily picking his teeth with a knife I had accidentally ingested the day before. The giant monster fell to the ground as nothing more than a piece of charcoal that smelt of burnt hair.
Just then, the dark storm clouds parted and a bolt of bright light fell from the sky upon my organs. I realized, to my horror, that I was still alive, even though half my brain had been eaten, one of my eyeballs gouged out and stepped on, and the only body part I could feel was my right-hand pinky finger.
Just then, a herd of elephants with giant tusks came running down the street, and a herd of donkeys with razor-sharp teeth came running from the other direction. The beasts began to fight each other over the spot where my highly disorganized body lay . . . and it really hurt when one of the elephants stepped on my finger!
– so it was written
– DAN 11:91:36.1833
I may not have fully understood the assignment concept, that is why I was late in handing it in.
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