[An assignment from high school, recently re-discovered. It received an A grade with the notes “Bravo!” and “nice conclusion” -danny, 2009-03-28]
DAN HOWARD ENGLISH
Morbid, gloomy, etc. I write it, you call it.
I was stumbling down the street on a gloomy afternoon, in the very rainy month of June. I was taken by surprise – by a monster twice my size, as he started ripping organs from my body. I fell over into the wet and grimy, filthy street, my arteries spewing out blood in sudden bursts, mixing with the puddles of water that had collected over the sewer, which had been clogged by an unknown radioactive substance that had fallen from the sky the day before.
Suddenly, a bolt of lightning fell from the sky, which had turned a dark black during the day, and killed the monster which was busily picking his teeth with a knife I had accidentally ingested the day before. The giant monster fell to the ground as nothing more than a piece of charcoal that smelt of burnt hair.
Just then, the dark storm clouds parted and a bolt of bright light fell from the sky upon my organs. I realized, to my horror, that I was still alive, even though half my brain had been eaten, one of my eyeballs gouged out and stepped on, and the only body part I could feel was my right-hand pinky finger.
Just then, a herd of elephants with giant tusks came running down the street, and a herd of donkeys with razor-sharp teeth came running from the other direction. The beasts began to fight each other over the spot where my highly disorganized body lay . . . and it really hurt when one of the elephants stepped on my finger!
– so it was written
– DAN 11:91:36.1833
I may not have fully understood the assignment concept, that is why I was late in handing it in.