Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/06/24/ride-captain-ride/
I had in mind, a line, from Shakeapear’s “Othello”:
“Perdition catch my soul, but I do love thee. And when I love thee not, chaos is come again.”
Which today I shall parse as:
“Loving you is hell, and when I stop, it is back to chaos.”
The chaos is some part of your life like an old sailing ship tossed in unknowable directions by a storm at sea. We don’t know how long it will last, and the captain best have a clear mind, a steady hand, a strong will, and a good heart. The ship must have a crew of loyal friends and family who keep the ship right through troubled waters. As the storm clears, the clouds break, the sun shines, and the telescope is raised, one can see the distant shore. The objective is to arrive whole and sane, so that you may rise to the challenges and opportunities afforded by the new land.
I’ll be canoeing tomorrow. Go figure.
Feedback Welcome
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/06/16/good-poems/
On the way home today I stopped at Barnes & Noble, thinking to find either some poetry or a book of jokes. Specifically, I was looking for some good poetry that might stick in the mind. I visited my old friend Ginsberg, but he can be awfully tedious. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a book called “Good Poems” . . . selected and introduced by Garrison Keillor. Now, Garrison himself is a tedious windbag who shouldn’t spend the hours each week he does on public radio, but I have heard some good stuff on The Writer’s Almanac and these are poems from there.
I grabbed a Tazo, sat down across from a pretty student, and opened the book and indeed, found a good poem. Then I found a good poem I thought I’d share with Yayoi, but then I recalled I don’t share with that person any more. I found instead a poem I will share here, since it is kind of topical: (more…)
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Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/06/12/true-giving/
Eknath Easwaran:
The Buddha is sometimes quoted as saying that desire is suffering. A more accurate translation is that selfish desire is suffering – in fact, the source of all suffering. But desire itself is simply power, neither good nor bad.
Without the tremendous power of desire, there can be no progress on the spiritual path; there can be no progress anywhere. The whole secret of spiritual transformation is turning selfish desire into selfless desire, transforming personal passions into the overwhelming desire to attain life’s highest goal. This is not repression; it is transformation.
I would say, that it is best if your desire is to give. And the real trick here is to give selflessly. I read recently about true giving, which is the process of learning about what is needed, and trying to give that. So often, we give someone what we want to give. We give what we would want to have. True giving is more interesting. I think it is tricky for people in our culture because we tend to live our lives in peer groups. If everyone is mostly like us, where’s the mystery as to what we need to give? But ask a parent, and they can tell you its pretty obvious that your personal needs differ from those you love the most. You give children what they need to grow.
As we practice true giving, then we don’t have to be as concerned with our own selfish desires. We have friends, family, lovers, who want to know us enough to provide what is needed when it is needed.
And when we lack for these people, we start with ourselves.
Feedback Welcome
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2006/05/17/advice-avoiding-divorce/
Some time, sooner than you may think you will, you may find yourself in a situation where your marriage has turned inside out. It’ll hurt worse than you’ve ever known before and you’ll try desperately to hold on, only your initial reaction may in fact be exactly the wrong thing to do. And you’ll step back and try to figure it out, and nothing will make any sense, until you swallow your ego and look back at yourself from your spouse’s eyes, and get some sound advice from friends, therapists, or in this case, perhaps by reading a blog entry that quotes a book.
The following are some of my dog-eared passages from “The Divorce Remedy” by Michele Weiner Davis. I’m transcribing them here since they strike me as sufficiently interesting to share, and because after I transcribe them I can flatten out the pages. A nice book shouldn’t live its life with permanant dog-ears. In all likelyhood, you are not in a crisis at the moment, but if the poop ever hits the fan, maybe you’ll recall that there’s some knowledge to turn to . . . (more…)
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Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2005/10/07/salesmanship/
Terms not to use:
“I’ll be honest with you . . .”
“It would be in your best interest to . . .”
“I think I can get you . . . at an unheard of price point.”
I first contacted the sales person in question about a technology solution that cost $6something. I got him down to $4.5something. I looked around, and found a competitor with a more appropriate solution for $3something. I suppose he could have beat that, possibly even with a superior solution, but I can only play “the NetApp game” for so long before I actually go buy something else.
Ah, well, it is a big world.
Feedback Welcome
Link:
https://dannyman.toldme.com/2005/06/25/uncle-john-avuncular-advice/
When Yayoi and I got married, we wanted to collect whatever wisdom our families had to offer on living together, translate it into English and Japanese, and have it available at the ceremony. That project kind of fell through, but we have some material and I want to keep it somewhere accessible. So, why not share with the Innernet? (more…)
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