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Presidential Decrees

Presidential Decree #1: Black Friday

On the Friday immediately following Thanksgiving, no store may open any earlier than it does on any other Friday.

On Thanksgiving, a store may extend their hours beyond the time they usually close, but all customers must be offered a complimentary slice of pie, of a size not less than 1/8 of a 9″ diameter pie, and no less than 1″ deep. A store must offer either pumpkin, sweet potato, or pecan pie, but may offer additional flavors. Customers will be allowed their fill of complimentary coffee, tea, drinking water, and whipped cream.

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