Public Toilets
Some ladies started yammering on the Yelp message boards about what a joy it is to hover over a toilet seat rather than sitting on it, and I . . . I respectfully disagreed:
Jesus Christ, people.
I check out the seat, and if there’s skank on it, I take a bit of toilet paper and wipe that skank off. Â Pubes? Â A bit of splatter? Â Nothing can resist my mastery of toilet paper!
(Well, okay, some toilets are just hopeless, I lose the urge, my genitals pucker up into my body and I hold out for the next opportunity.)
Then, I place my ass DIRECTLY ON THE SEAT.
I’m proud to say, i tend to leave a potty cleaner than I found it. Â And I believe that is a way to measure a person’s character.
Personally, I think squat toilets are superior for public venues. Â Drop your drawers, poop in the hole, wipe up, wash up and go! Â Sitting is a luxury i can save for my apartment, at least until I have kids and we all start fighting over the bathroom.
I have read that with a bit of practice (in the shower) that most women can actually get a handle on the stand-and-pee thing.
I mean, in case you were wondering where I stood, er, sat, on the issue of public toilets.
Responses
Mikey Aye, Cali Republic
Keeee-Ryste, DeeMann ~~~~~~~~~~
A shit blog. I like that.
When I first read through it I had a thought that you shou should teach us all some kinda cool….. um…. er………. shitiquette! Yeah, shitiquette!
And I felt good about making up such a fine new word. Mine, all mine!!!!!!!!
Then of course I had to do a Yahoo search and found that on at least a few occasions others had used this word so now I’m bummed.
Think I’ll find a public terlit and take a dump……..
SEE YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mikey Aye
Andrew Ho
The P-mate, dude. If I was a woman I would have a couple of these in my pocket at all times. http://www.pmateusa.com/
Mike
What I hate worst are the women who hover over the toilet, but don’t bother to lift the seat, resulting in making the seat dirtier with their ill-aimed urine. And, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the result of men pissing without bothering to lift the lid, because I was using a women-designated (but single occupancy) restroom when I observed this.
We should just solve this all with asian-style squat toilets.
berto
I work on the trading floor at one of Chicago’s financial exchanges. It is not uncommon for some women to use the men’s washroom, especially at the start or at the end of the trading day. Why? Because the men’s washroom is cleaner, even when it’s not. As one woman who’s worked at the several exchanges longer than I’ve been alive put it to me, ‘men might pee and leave a trail, that’s normal, but most men don’t bleed and leave a trail.’ Ewww. I know people in my industry are pressed for time, but still….ewww. I suppose the washrooms were worse in the 1980’s when the trading floors were fully staffed to capacity with thousands of people milling about, and it makes me shudder to think what the amenities were like then. Think about that the next time you have to use a fingerprint reader to enter your building.
-brt
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Tiny Print:
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