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Marriage: Two Perspectives

The morning of July 2, I have arrived at the last page of June’s “The Sun” and find an occasion to chuckle:

“By all means marry: if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”

–Socrates

Socrates is a mortal. And so am I.

“Wasn’t marriage, like life itself, unstimulating and unprofitable and somewhat empty when too well-ordered and protected and guarded. Wasn’t it finer, more splendid, more nourishing when it was, like life itself, a mixture of the sordid and the magnificent; of mud and stars; of earth and flowers; of love and hate and laughter and tears and ugliness and beauty and hurt.

–Edna Ferber

It was.

Yes, the title says “Two Perspectives” but we wouldn’t want this content to be too well-ordered, yeah? Here’s an assertion that I know many would take exception to. But it is a sentiment that I believe is useful:

“Marriage is not a love affair. A love affair has to do with immediate personal satisfaction. Marriage is an ordeal; it means yielding, time and again. That’s why it’s a sacrament: you give up your personal simplicity to participate. And you are not giving to the other person; you are giving to the relationship. Because you are not giving to the other person it is not impoverishing — it is life-building, life-fostering, enriching.”

–Joseph Campbell

Looking at it now, I’d say Joe’s quote pairs well with Edna: it is most rewarding when you cut loose and give without reservation. When you give not because you judge the other as deserving, but because it is right and therefor rewarding. Ah, and since I’m quoting people, I’ll have to toss at you a quote on my whiteboard that was transcribed from the radio:

“The is no end. No beginning. There is only the passion of life.”

–Federico Fellini