Fri May 8 03:00:09 CDT 1998
Jeongie got the job in Chicago.
I have a good friend to hang out with this summer.
You know what pisses me off? You know boxer shorts? You know how they've got that hole in front for easy access? Great, but what annoys me is when you find that the easy access is being utilized when it's just not needed. Say, you're walking down the street and you'd like to give Richard a rest, go back home bro' ... get back in there, but no, you can feel the inside of your pants, and things just don't seem right.
You know what I like? Amorous gay guys named Shaun who get drunk and rub my back and rub my nipples and request that should they do anything offensive please let them know. I mean, nobody else has been rubbing me pleasantly like that, whyn't he? It's he who doesn't get any. Makes me almost wish I did wander over on the other side of the fence coz I believe good effort should be rewarded.
But alas, many of our efforts are seldom rewarded. I'm glad I'm not gay, I have a hard enough time bothering to look for any as it is.
I'm reviewing a bunch of classical mp3s I got off 'toly. We were sitting around in the lab .. or, I was sitting in the lab, and Krissy comes and joins me, looking for a bit of pre-bedtime humor from the computers, then 'toly's in on the act, and Tunji's hangin' around too ... so .. I dunno, I got the easiest part of the MP done now, and it turns out that's four of seven test cases. Simple shit too. Java Serialization is kinda neat, tidier than FreezeThaw in Perl, if a bit more typing to implement.
Did I mention Goth Dan's engaged?
His fiancee, Brigitte(sp?) is a pale Indian gal. My inclination is to peg her for Jewish, but what do I know?
I'm going to fail everything. Everything. I've slacked in everything. I've let it all go. This semester's going to hell in a handbasket, I'm still not motivated to worry over it.
Like my darkest moments in say, highschool, or grammerschool.
Only I find there's no fear of passing out failing grades in College.
Fine with me, I got a job.
I'm thinking that taking the time off to work at EnterAct is going to really help me ... I am not so sure why, but I've just come to really detest the University and everything ... and I'm not even entirely sure why ...
A larger issue I tend to worry about is the tension between following one's own path - I'm a very unique bugger, for better and for worse, it would seem, and the problem of just failing in general. That's a problem of both me and my ancestors and others of my generation, I reckon. Mom and Uncle and dad all left college, mom returning to eventually become a Physical Therapist, which with great admirability, she's not forsaken.
Me dropping from the Army, I'm pretty sure from the same inexplicable lack of motivation which I seem to be in right now. My desire to transfer to Lane midway through IB, switching majors, no big deal. No motivation to make Life, much less Eagle in Boy Scouts ... Jessy dropping out of High School, after dropping out of IB ... then apparently dropping the whole carpenter's apprentice gig by moving to Texas.
I think I'll do better with a job though. Not that I've ever had one for so long, but I think there's a different philosophy that goes into a steady job ... your time is not yours, you are working for someone else in exchange for money, which you can then use for your own interests. Mom's been a good PT for so long, no matter what she might think in her darkest times of the hospital, her peers, her patients, or whatever, and dad worked a really long time at Zenith ... I don't think I'm going to be quite so committed to EnterAct, but I've always like the arrangement that in the end, if I'm not feeling entirely good about everything, I can always justify it by money.
And thanks in large part to the Internet, I'm in a good position, money-wise.
I was thinking about a Heinlein novel I read where characters were discussing who got rich off the gold rush. It wasn't many of the miners, no, it was the grocers and the guys in the general stores selling stuff to the desperate prospectors. I tend to think of web developers, those out there trying to make the content, so to speak, of the Internet, what it is and hope to make money off of that as the prospectors, and the guys who maintain the infrastructure at a geometric growth rate as the grocers. We're in the sure money, doesn't mean I'm not interested in prospecting in my spare time. More of that later, perhaps?
Meanwhile, somewhere along the way, it's always helpful to have a bachelors degree. After work makes me a bit zany, a return to school will make for a pleasant sabbatical.
And lots of people have their own ways. As bad as this semester turns out, I'm not in the worst company.
I just needed a little pep talk. Be your own best friend. :)
-dan
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