5 December, 1997

Gag Me!

Fri Dec 5 11:13:06 CST 1997

A fortune just popped up on arh0300;

From its modest beginnings in Southern California's San Fernando Valley,
VALGOL is enjoying a dramatic surge of popularity across the industry.

Here is a sample program:
        LIKE, Y*KNOW(I MEAN)START
        IF PIZZA = LIKE BITCHEN AND GUY = LIKE TUBULAR AND
           VALLEY GIRL = LIKE GRODY**MAX(FERSURE)**2 THEN
                FOR I = LIKE 1 TO OH*MAYBE 100
                        DO*WAH - (DITTY**2)
                        BARF(I)=TOTALLY GROSS(OUT)
                SURE
        LIKE BAG THIS PROGRAM
        REALLY
        LIKE TOTALLY (Y*KNOW)
        IM*SURE
        GOTO THE MALL

When the user makes a syntax error, the interpreter displays the message:

        GAG ME WITH A SPOON!!

NeXT No More

Date: Fri, 5 Dec 1997 11:09:02 -0600
From: dannyman
To: My Name is Tal
Subject: NeXT station gone

---

Hi Tal:

I just got in to work. As I approached the office, my thought was "Cool, I'll email Tal, and we'll work the deal out today, and tonight, I'll get together with Katarina, and between the getting payed, the selling the NeXT, the working all day, and Kat, it's gonna be a good day."

Unfortunately, when I got in. The NeXT was GONE!

Not that I wasn't trying to sell it but ...

Ya see, it kinda sold itself. Where it had been resting, cheerfully looking blackly at the world, was instead a check for $375. Another NCSA employee I guess snatched it up for his wife.

So, dearest Tal, I am sorry, but I have no more NeXT to sell you. I'm sorry about this. Hopefully you'll still have a Merry Christmas and I guess if nothing else at least you have fewer distractions finals week. If I see any cool deals about, I'll let ya know though.

Sorry Tal. I hope you have a good weekend,
dan

3 December << 1997 >> 7 December
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