Fri Nov 14 19:45:32 CST 1997
I want to take it easy tonight. Right now I'm a little excited from talking to Moshen about him and Rachel, and sharing my concerns with me and Katarina.
And meanwhile, I don't really wanna work, coz it's Friday night, but tomorrow I get dinner and a movie - Mr. Bean, with a wonderful lady, and Monday I have due the draft of our Language Project for English 302.
And stuff due Tuesday for B&TW.
So, I really should get things done.
Or write here. I actually "caught up" on email Wednesday night, reducing the 180 messages waiting in my inbox to the 31 that have currently taken residence there. I saw Gatita (Kat) online, so I sent her a banner, and eventually she figured out how to ytalk me, so as the evening of labsitting wore down at midnight, we were chatting together.
Thursday - last night, we were at Coffeehouse. Linda got to meet her - "I gotta meet this girl!" Those that have seen or met her seem to approve - I'm sure Linda does. Not that I need my friends to approve of anyone, but it's a pleasant formality which happens anyway. Gatita's people seem to approve of me. Sarah especially is taken with a great smile whenever we meet, which is positive reenforcement from what seems to be a close roommate. Kinda like, both our people think the other's okay, as a secondary check to make sure we're not either of us delusional, eh?
I'm talking out my ass.
Anyways, as I'd guessed, her friends, the three Latinas, are Chicago women - real city kids. That's cool. Kat herself is a townie from Savoy. Her mom's been in Korea the past month so she's been between here and her house to walk the dog - bet that keeps her busy. We're not going out tonight coz of her goin' to the airport to pick up her ma. I bet that's gonna be swell.
We really like each other. I may be over-doing it with the flowers, but I think it's better to overdo it some than to deemphasize your feelings ... if you trust somebody, which I'm growing to do. We haven't really talked about us much, which I'll tackle soon I think because things are heating up just enough that there is something unambiguously present to talk about there being now. I'm excited, actually giddy, when I think of all the different places this relationship could lead ... I just don't have the data, so we seem all the more exciting to each other.
It's weird, because I've had an eye for her for a long time. I noticed her first back at Allen Hall Formal last year - turns out she'd been living in ISR and I guess she went with her girlfriends you know? That's why I'd never seen her before, she was new. Anyway, she caught my eye, but I was with Asao, and I had not interest in a pretty girl beyond my horizon then. I filed her away as a pretty lady who I hadn't seen before, and should keep an eye out maybe just to figure out where she'd been hiding. Everyone who lives in Allen I'm going to see once in awhile, and if suddenly cute women pop up out of nowhere, that's weird really.
So this year, with my laid-back attitude, or attempted relaxed attitude, and no longer a relationship with Asao, well, you know, maybe I'd get to know her. I'm getting to know her alright, and it seems a little unreal, because she digs me ... more than I expect, more than I remember for a very long time. Not the old "falling in love thing" but sort of a "hey there!" kind of thing ... I really like her .. you know, like ... you know, like you like a member of the opposite sex kinda thing ... like yer a kid in high school trying to learn how it all works - hey I like ...
I see I'm failing to communicate my point here. We'll talk tomorrow, I'll cease to confuse you here.
So, anyways, Rachel and Moshen ... what can I say? I mean, literally, I can't spill their secrets. The important stuff is that it's happened - boom, she grabbed him, is what I understand from folks who were present, including the participants ... I dropped Rachel a note trying to express the general concern that people tend to have, that maybe it's none of our business but are we sure this is a good idea ... after hearing from her, though we have to talk more, and talking to Moshen - I feel more positive about it. At least Moshen seems to have a very healthy attitude about it, his concerns seem to be the ones I would have in his position - not that I know better than he, but correlation is reassuring. Rachel, well she's the more complicated recently-broken-up-from-a-three-year-relationship member of the equation, I have a feeling that she at least sort of knows what she's doing, though I really shouldn't be saying a God-damned thing about anything perhaps - just that well, I can think of no one who reads this journal for nasty reasons, or if they do, they dunno my people here, so it's all just kind of abstract. I hope well for them. To me, they're both friends. I dunno either that well, but Rachel and I have a bond, and Moshen, we can talk ... we're guys you know?
11 November
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