I'm at Rachel's house now. a sizeable group of people wanted to consume alcohol and watch some bad movie. I was invited along, on my condition that I get to work on the journal here. I got a few things to say.
Anyhow, we all piled in to Rachel's car, seven in number. Jacob was riding in the hatchback. Anyways, we went down to F23 and picked up the Dannyvan, and things went much more comfortably. We went to Schnucks and another place and came back to Schnucks on account of the other place had a pitiful collection of alcohol, and now I'm back here at Rachel's term writing.
So where to start? Time to start from the beginning. Friday night.
Friday night I drove home, as mom had wanted, and on Saturday we went to Stacey's wedding in Michigan City, Indiana. Stacey is a step-cousin to me, being as Grandma married Papa at one point. I'm not sure how happy I am about the wedding. While they are married now, the ceremonies itself could have gone off better. The minister was a slacker, boring as hell and just going by the book. Right after he was done he was gone. Then at dinner many tables had goldfish on them as centerpieces. Ours was nearly dead by the night's end. It was a criticized inhumane idea to have those goldfish there.
Stacey seemed happy though, and her sister Vanessa seemed to be enjoying her part as a bridesmaid. I kept thinking of Alethea's wedding, which I was able to share through her journal. It was an interesting contrast, the details of which I shall not comment on.
Anyways, I headed home Saturday night, wanting to get my head cleared up some. It was already past midnite, so the decision was made with some protest on the part of kinfolk, but I headed off anyway. On my way out of Chicago, I ran out of gas. It was most scary because suddenly the van just lost power, and I hit the hazard lights and pulled on to the shoulder. After some worry, I noticed the fuel gauge reading empty and switched to the other tank, which I had previously filled in a fit of thoughtfulness.
So what's up with Dannyman? Well, aside from figuring out what we're doing in our CS327 Expert Systems group, which I don't even want to get in to, I been trying to figure out my emotional state, my desires, and the best course of action to pursue with regards to one lady I've recently grown overly fond of, despite my contrary intentions.
1616h
This lady, being, of all people, Rachel Woo, only recently broken up after a very long relationship with Ed. Do I know how to pick 'em or what? Yeah, of course I find myself interested in a woman who is likely not at a good emotional state for something like that. My irrational side is enamored of making things as interesting as possible.
Well, after a long time of agonizing and arguing and strategizing and the like, consulting friends and all, and actually putting a bunch of junk on this web page here, only to retract it and place it in a private record, I think I'd like to just sum it all up like so;
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 1997 15:51:41 -0600
From: Dannyman
To: Annette
Subject: thank you!
Annette,
Thank you so much for taking the time to help talk things out with me over lunch. This whole process of really questioning everything so well has been invaluable to me as I try to accomplish whatever it is I want to accomplish while still doing the best for everyone involved.
As always, talking with you has proven insightful. I'm thinking that if I am to be sharing anything with Rachel tonight, it will be that at the root of things, while I am attracted to her as a potential girlfriend, what is most important is that I feel a more platonic bond and interest, and want more to be there for her in whatever capacity would best suit her/us at the time. The main gist being that if she feels comfortable with the idea, I would like to become more intimate with her in whatever way(s) could be best for us ... spiritually, emotionally, physically, whatever. I, of course, can't decide what two people want from each other all by myself.
It's times like these that life seems peculiarly interesting.
Good luck with stuff, and don't be a stranger!
Love,
Dannyman
23 October
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