24, September 1997

Fasting

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said,
The words of the prophets
are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whisper'd in the sounds of silence.

Paul Simon,
The Sound of Silence

I have eaten today, four pieces of rye bread and a rather mediocre french fry that I stole from Dave in a moment of mindlessness.

I'm not hungry either, at least not very.

Why haven't I eaten?

I've been toying a while with the idea of fasting ... it seems something truly ... insightful? I don't know quite what I expect out of it, but Gandhi advocated the fast as a tool that would help one attain spiritual enlightenment.

In the Order of the Arrow, "meager rations" are something an inductee will suffer during their ordeal ... there seems something spiritual about hunger, I'm not sure what.

Hunger is not something we normally experience. At least, if we are hungry, most of us in the modern world, hell, most of us throughout the world, will eat something. What is it like to "go hungry"?

I don't know.

You see, it's a simple experiment ... eat naught but two pieces of rye bread at the meals I've been at today, and drink water ... simple, a sort of "purification" and denial of a physical pleasure. Much like clergy may take vows of celibacy ... I'm not likely to do that any time soon, but I might try today a simple experiment with a short fast, and expand upon that if I feel there may be more value to pursue there.

I will break fast tomorrow at 1100h when I'm scheduled to meet Casey for lunch over at Busey-Evans.

Proof-reading

Sunday afternoon I proofread Annette's story for Rhet 204 ... I think she was very nervous about it, but I think I was able to offer some good advice for her to rewrite the story by. It had a lot of creative energy in it, which impressed me. I think the finished product should turn out well.

We talked at length about how our lives were going. She's not fond of one of her roommates, who apparently lacks spine in the face of a pushy fiance. Such is tragic. She and Neil are fine, though straining through a Long-Distance Relationship - he in Peoria. Not unlike Linda and Dave. We both agreed on concern for the stress that Linda seems to be under of late, and I sent her an email ... yeah, she's glad that we care. I hope if things come to a head at all that Annette and I can do well by her.

Annette's good folks. We got on the subject of the Chief issue, and I was actually relieved to find her position to be anti-chief. She seemed to have an intelligent opinion or two to offer on the subject too, which is always refreshing.

Last night I proof-read for Agnes. Turns out, as I had guessed from the first two paragraphs, that Agnes is in fact ESL, having come from Poland but ten years ago. As seems more appropriate for going over several grammatic changes, I gathered in her room to go over the paper line by line on her word processor. Reminded me of Mayuko, only Agnes speaks English like any other native of the Chicago area. It's only when she writes, it seems, that crazy things come up.

The dissonance there then reminded me of Nancy, who in conversation was a little weird, if wholly comprehensible ... written communications were a different story.

And they are both having the same story; "I went to a Chicago Public High School, where they don't teach English grammar."

Ai-yah!

The Anti-Protestor

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
'Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

Paul Simon,
The Sound of Silence

Today I was twenty minutes late to English 302. I didn't feel bad though, as she was teaching stuff about phonetics, which I had an eye-bleeding semester of with Linguistics 301 a year ago. I'm not fond of the subject, and I probably know nearly as much as she, or any other sane human should hope to know without becoming a linguist themselves.

errr, I know I'm over-rating my knowledge and underrating hers, but I was like "Yeah, I remember the Indonesian." when she started going on about this Thai girl whose speech she had to study - "informants" and all.

But the real reason why I don't feel bad was because I was out trying to do something for a good cause.

The guy who made the film "In Whose Honor" which explains well why Chief Illiniwek is as offensive as he is, gave a speech at the Union explaining further why we should get rid of our mascot, or symbol if you will. There were a sum total of seven Republicans there who when he started speaking lined up near the wall to hold signs saying how they felt the attack on the Chief was bad. When I get it developed and scanned, you'll see a picture here of them holding a sign that reads something like "College Republicans for Chief Illiniwek" - gee, 'nuff said ...

So I responded ... the three on the left of the stage I walked up to and stared at ... I'm not sure if it was to my credit or to the fact that they looked kind of silly standing there with these signs and the speaker was making all these great points against their cause and nobody gave a shit about them and they maybe didn't really believe that strongly in what they were after anyway, but they started looking fucking sheepish and squirming a bit. Perhaps I am over-optimistic, but I was reading on the face of one girl "Look, I'm just hear holding this sign because I want to support my group, I'm not really a dork." ... I think they might not have been sure of what I was getting at, especially when I pulled out my camera and they posed for my picture ... I contemplated whether I might offer to relieve one of their signs, hold it on high, and rip it in half.

That would have provoked some of the audience, I'm sure.

Sarah was there to talk to them, wanting to know what the opposition was thinking. I wanted to get outta there and on to class.

Why was I staring at them?

I think I was trying to maybe get at them ... it is intimidating to be stared at. The lady who got the ball rolling on this whole anti-chief thing relayed about when she was the only one in protest, holding a sign up because she felt for her children ... Charlene Teeters! Anyways, she said that back then people had no reservations with regards to verbally abusing her, spitting on her, and throwing rocks. How does a Native American feel when the Chief comes out, conducting an offensive parody of their race based on cultural myths? Very self-conscious, I felt. By being stared at by a tall guy with very short hair, wearing blue shorts, and a bright orange Illini Guide tee-shirt maybe they got some impression of what it feels like to be in the minority, to be the ones wanting justice .. how strong do they believe in their justice?

Of course, maybe I made an ass of myself, but I enjoyed the opportunity any way.

18 September << 1997 >> 27 September
H O M E