Bush escalates the war while Democrats hem and haw. I don’t get it: with a majority in both houses, is a “nonbinding resolution” really the best they can do? It sounds like something a timid married couple dreamt up to invigorate their humdrum sex life.

Sy Safransky’s Notebook
The Sun
July, 2007

I chuckled on the BART this morning.

Captions, anyone?

Confession #100

I resent paying for Head and Shoulders shampoo so much that I have been buying generic shampoo and putting it into the same Head and Shoulders bottle for over two years. Honey, you’re bald and you don’t need shampoo anymore. You especially don’t need one that controls dandruff. You have more hair on your ass than you do on your head and you use soap on your ass.

Enough already!

I read this out loud to a coworker, and she said that yes, it took her boyfriend some getting used to the fact that she freely expresses her opinions, like “that is the ugliest shirt I have ever seen.”

One of the key desires I have for the woman I hope to pair with is that she be sassy. I confronted my repressive tendencies in High School, and have been dealing with the question as to how open I should be, and how to articulate my feelings in a constructive manner, ever since. You can tell, by the fact that you are reading my blog, that I am inclined to err toward openness and sharing. Even so, I don’t always err that way: in my marriage I was not all that engaged with my own emotions, until it was too late. The problem is, being open and sharing alienates a lot of people. I think people are alienated by criticism because we either have low self-esteem, our confidence is based on material things, or we just aren’t used to having someone who loves us enough to tell us straight-up what they think is going on. (That, and delivering criticism takes some finesse.)

And when you’re being non-repressed, you do gotta just let a bunch of trivial stuff go, rather than bitching all the time. It is a fine line, but I’d rather hear it than not.

So, I learn to ask myself “is this actually important?” Let the unimportant stuff go, by all means, but don’t forget to listen to yourself, and to your partner, and engage the important stuff. Even if you don’t have a solution, identifying a genuine concern together is better than letting a problem go un-checked.

I guess it’s a juvenile thing if I have a soft spot for repressed people who don’t know how to express themselves. Sympathy for the child I used to be?

Anyway, that “True Wife Confessions” is a good way to let off some steam. Sure, I’m a husband, but there are those “oh my god, you too” moments. Makes one feel less alone, and more like yet another shared soul on the riverboat of humanity.

The Blue States, thanks to Al Gore, have the Internet, and the Internet contains the story of:

PENIS CAKE!!

YES!!

(Well, it is good if you’ve been working hard after the holiday weekend and are about to get some sleep.)

Thanks, benley.

-danny

Well, this guy . . . different story:

Stolen from http://somegirlwitha.com/images/weblog/love_your_job.gif without any permission whatever.

I think he’s related to these guys:

Thanks for the tip, seano!

Every time I see this e-mail, I get a little chuckle:

Date: Mon, 06 Jun 2005 13:43:30 -0500
From: “American Family Association” <afapetition@afa.net>
To: Jesus McChrist <wankers@toldme.com>
Subject: AFA suspends Ford boycott for six months

AFA suspends Ford boycott for six months

Dear Jesus,

Following a meeting with a group of Ford dealers on June 5, AFA has suspended its boycott of Ford Motor Company until December 1, 2005. In the meeting, the dealers asked for time to see if the concerns raised by AFA in their boycott announcement could be addressed by them in cooperation with officials from Ford Motor Company.

AFA felt that the dealers were making a good faith effort and agreed to accept their request. Therefore, the suspension request was accepted by AFA. During the remaining period AFA will work with the dealers in attempting to resolve our differences.

[...]

Ah, Jesus McChrist, I thank you for providing easy amusement.

A stick!

His answer, “Oh . . . it was for the irony!”

(Thanks, elky!)

MSN’s competitors get it right, but MSN search ends up with . . . janitorial supplies!

The repeated search attempt made by seattlepi.com kind of remind me of some of the early early experiences with Tellme. I wrote a Caltrain schedule app way back in the day before the advent of VXML. “Mountain View,” I’d say, with my midwestern accent. “Millbrae?” “Moun-TEN View …” I would shout back. “San Francisco Fourth and King.” “No, you f_cker, I said Mountain View!!”

But, at least Tellme didn’t go advertizing their speech recognition features without first making sure they worked.

“Yes, I think you just have.”

How exchanges outside POWERLOADER
===============================

this duty possibly by a cocky person, or two states of mind normal people complete joint effort. Perhaps there is other intructions has RMA, for example turns over the switch in unit’s behind betwen ” Run” And ” Ship” … Please note them.

Below you possibly need to shift the accessory to the new unit:

- Front the ear (is used for pulls causes at unit’s front it to be separated from the rack. )
- The side axle (is used slides for the rack. )
- The SCSI termination (the little white plastic matter is surrounded in the second slot behind the unit. )

Once the new unit is suffered above $TAPEHOST, please connect the SCSI cable to hang $TAPEHOST the first SCSI coupling slot in the powerloader rear area. This cable is thick and black and neatly current coils around on the floor after the rack. Some gently please operated this matter… me once was too enterprising and it goes with the SCSI cable badly in me.

Consolidates this SCSI cable to discover through two screws in the coupling. You want black the screwdriver which processes for this.

Strength in loading - big button in front. Second (?) The choice will open the gate in the menu, or the loading/will download. Chooses that choice, with when the gate pop music fully opens, the slippery tray magnetic tape to the loading, the magnetic tape faces left, with closure gate. The menu will start to think ” Inventorying” And the matter should then be hunky-dorey.

Answer: “It is an eight digit number, preceded by an ‘A,’ that is assigned to you by the Department of Homeland Security. It is used as your file or case number by the Court.”

Answer: Musaab notes that you will be assigned an Alien Registration Number by USCIS as needed when you apply for certain benefits. If you have not received an Alien Registration Number, just put “NONE”.

Note: I am not an immigration lawyer and the above information should be taken with a grain of salt. If you absolutely must get this right consult a real immigration lawyer. I’m just a random schmuck with a blog that has pretty good PageRank.

Original post:

<dman> Anyone know what is an Alien Registration Number?
<TanAdept> Just put down 2515049.
<dman> Q. What is an Alien Registration Number?
<dman> A. It is an eight digit number, preceded by an “A,” that is assigned to
you by the Department of Homeland Security. It is used as your file or
case number by the Court.
<TanAdept> A2515049, then
<Nicko> your missing a digit
<TanAdept> Shush.
<Adam> Hey, just shush the DHS guys when they come to your house.
<Adam> To take away your unregistered alien.
<Adam> Or misregistered.
* Nicko first interpreted that as “the DHL guys”
<Adam> Them, too.
<Nicko> they’ll just ship your misregistered aliens

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

“I should be in charge,” said the brain, “because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen”.

“I should be in charge,” said the blood, “because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you’d all waste away.”

“I should be in charge,” said the stomach,” because I process food and give all of you energy.”

“I should be in charge,” said the legs, “because I carry the body wherever it needs to go.”

“I should be in charge,” said the eyes, “because I allow the body to see where it goes.”

“I should be in charge,” said the rectum, “because I’m responsible for waste removal.”

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?

The asshole is usually in charge!