dannyman.toldme.com

Relationships: The Sharing Paradox

When you are just trying to enjoy the moment, and not start a relationship, you are much freer in sharing yourself. This tends to be when you fall in love despite yourself.

When you are trying to pull off a relationship, you are more inhibited. You take some care in how and what you reveal so as not to scare off the other person. Then you do an impaired job of being present in the relationship.

You do best, in my opinion, when you shrug off that inhibition, and share yourself freely, but considerately. The best medium, I think, is when you are broaching some potentially sensitive topic and ask your partner if they are comfortable about it and they can find it in themselves to be comfortable, because they dig you, they are coming to accept you for who you are, and not for who you present yourself to be.

And of course, in order to best be accepting of another person’s sharing, you’ll have to be accepting of what you know about yourself. Love starts in your own heart.

“Be a brilliant soul
Sparkling in the galaxy
While walking on Earth.”

And also, be polite. If you are an interesting cat, there can be a lot to take in. Don’t hold back on the sharing, but leave enough time for listening to appreciate how much sharing your partner can digest in a sitting. That is a good opportunity to shift gears, shut up, and listen. Especially for us guys, listening is a skill that takes a bit of cultivation.